Fear. Truly the worst 4 letter F word I know. Not only do you have to deal with the “thing” you are afraid of, but if you are like me you are more afraid of the fear/anxiety feeling. Think about it, even when you are feeling secure and think you are ready for that experience/object/etc then BAMM!!!! Your mind starts fighting you. Heart racing, breathing becomes erratic, and then that PANIC sets in. Unless you’ve fully lived through a panic attack you have no full understanding of how crippling it can be. One of my biggest personal fears is with Flying. Yes, I LOVE traveling but I HATE flying. My fear of flying has stopped me from traveling abroad or visiting my sister in Washington over the years.
I think my fear ultimately stems from my claustrophobia. I’ve been nervous on bridges, elevators, tunnels, but have been able to tackle each one. How? Basically, I had decided that enough was enough. I decided I enjoy traveling too much to avoid EVERYTHING! But flying has taken me a bit longer to overcome. I’m not sure if it was the idea of being in a car and on the ground vs x feet in the sky, knowing who I was putting my life in the hands of (aka the driver), or the fact that flying is so much more involved than simply driving over a bridge. Granted, I still get a little twinge in my stomach every time I enter a tunnel, bridge, or elevator but have not had to avoid these situations.
Flying is another story. Yes, I’ve done visual practicing and tried various other measures to get over flying and just when pictures of inside an aircraft no longer stir those butterflies at the pit of my stomach, I think I’m ready. That is until I start thinking “but what if I get a panic attack?” No longer is it the plane ride itself that bothers me but rather that WHAT IF?. It gets to feeling like your mind and body are betraying you. I’ve fought so hard to get comfortable with planes yet how do you get used to the idea that a panic attack might or might not come and you have no choice and NO ESCAPE?!?
The universe, however, has a way of making you face your fears or really just has a weird sense of humor. I asked for help in overcoming my fear and boy did I get it. (think the phrase—be careful what you wish for!) A time came when I had no choice but to fly for different reasons each month for 5 months in a row. I truly had no choice and had to figure out how to face this. I tried prescription medication in addition to motion sickness medication to help keep me relaxed, but I realized this knocked me out the rest of the day. (Yea, I’m a lightweight). I managed those flights “ok” but still didn’t feel ready and dreaded each subsequent trip. I then discovered meditation and Reiki. Sounded good at first but then I noticed difficulty with dealing with my thoughts. I struggled with overcoming any attempts at centering myself and which resulted in guilt and frustration that I still had to deal with medication to manage my symptoms. I truly felt like a failure. I mean I’m a Reiki level 3, shouldn’t I be above this? Shouldn’t I be able to create the healing space easily, effortlessly? I’m a true fraud! Not only am I a fraud but I’m a fraud who fears my mind! I struggled and focused so hard on the avoidance of a panic attack that I was constantly teetering on the edge of one. I just didn’t want to be present! Not really. I wanted to be at my destination and run away from the journey! You know what happened then? Instead of moving forward I actually became a bit worse and dreaded flying even more! We’re talking several days or weeks before the flight I was getting worked up!
I knew this wouldn’t work. I really want to take an Alaskan cruise and see Ireland so I had to decide: am I gonna continue fighting my mind or figure out how to manage this? A healing prayer at a church I used to attend ended with the phrase “I will do my part” . Ok, what is my part in this? That started with realizing what I was doing to myself. I realized: I was fighting my mind and being present. Instead of being present, finding ways to have peace, I was fighting myself. I was giving so much energy to avoiding a panic attack I was actually creating a perfect environment for one.
That was my first step. Switching to creating peace and making friends with my mind. I had to reassure myself that any feelings that arose I could handle. I’ll say that again because that was my biggest lesson—any and all feelings I CAN HANDLE. You may not realize that or agree but it’s true. The feelings are fleeting. We can handle it, even a full panic attack! Because you know what? You’ve survived them in the past. What makes you think we can’t do it again?! Secondly, I had to pack an arsenal to help remind me I am strong enough:
- First essential oils have helped me. I choose: Lavender and Valor. Studies have shown that scent can change frequency so I wanna help myself as much as possible.
- Secondly, I take my selenite palm stone with me whenever I travel. Selenite is a stone that creates a calming effect. I would recommend any stone that you find work best for you. Do you have a mediation stone?
- Next, I do use music. Sitting back and listening to what I feel drawn to really goes a long way for me to being able to center and focus on my breathing. Doesn’t matter what you choose! I would just go with what your body is leaning to. I’ve chosen everything from Irish music to Modest Mouse to Bob Dylan. Really just honor your body and what you are in the mood to listen to.
- Lastly, I focus on my breath and a grounding mantra. Sometimes I include a gratitude prayer for a safe journey while envisioning the plane in a white light. Maybe someday my toolbox will be even less, but right now it works!
My path to recovery is still ongoing. I still get those butterflies in my stomach especially during take-off, however I can fly knowing that I’m prepared and that my mind and I can truly be friends. I still take my motion sickness medication before the flight but now it’s sole purpose is to manage my nausea! I have my oils with me and apply a dab shortly before takeoff and my selenite palm stone is in my hand. I can sit back with some easy music playing and concentrate on my breath and grounding (no pun intended) practice and get ready to discover the magic in my destination without having to worry about getting there! And guess where I’m writing this post from right now? 😉
What about you? I’d love to hear about any fears or obstacles you are currently tackling or have tackled! Please comment below:
